Could there actually exist an union more diabolical and so cleverly disguised as ineptitude as that of the unholy marriage of CenturyLink and DirecTV? There are several things wrong with this partnership from my humble perspective.
First, when calling a service provider to move service, I would expect that since you are an existing customer it would be a rather simple procedure of the customer service representative changing your address in the system, but oh no, this is a sales opportunity. Can we interest you in a phone line? No thanks, we have Vonage. Then they try to sell you on getting phone line insurance, if you ever happen to actually subscribe to a phone line. Yeah, sure, we'll think about that. Then comes the cell phone pitch. No thanks, we already have mobile service through an employer. Then finally, the worst of them all, the DirecTV bundle...
Duh-duh-duuuuuuh... Yes, that's a cheesy horror music cue. First, it's a bundle, so you save money. Okay. Second, you get this great package, because it's a bundle. Third, here's the extra's you can get, though it is worded so you think you're getting all of them. Okay, so a little misrepresentation is normal in sales opportunities like this. I'm sure it's in their training. But then comes the install.
Two guys show up, one is training, great. It's like having a medical student give you a proctology exam. When their hand is in the middle of everything, it's a little too late for the trainer to ask do you remember what to do next? Also, it's not really a procedure you would want to take longer than it needs to.
The house we are renting already had a dish. It was already wired for DirecTV. Should be a simple install, right? Wrong. No, they need to install a new dish, probably because they're getting compensated by CenturyLink for it. And why did they need to reinstall line splitters? The house was already wired for two receivers. And, here's the good one, really, you guys don't verify the programming level?
We noticed from the beginning that we weren't getting most of the channels we were told we were going to get, but the installer did say that sometimes it takes 24 hours for programming to be complete. What? Don't the receiver number and account number take care of that? So, the day before Thanksgiving I get volunteered to call... tech support. I have never called tech support for anything. I usually just fix it, or replace it and consider it an upgrade, but this is a service, and a new one with a convenient contract at that, so it has to be fixed.
The first call lasted almost a half hour. I talked to three levels of tech support, the first two of which were unable to help. The third level, though ultimately ineffective, finally said that everything would be taken care of but may take 3 to 5 days to take affect. What? Are their computers that slow? Do they have to hang bananas to entice the monkey to climb the bank of witches to flip ours to the correct subscriptions? No, it's more sinister than that, though probably more a case of ineptitude than anything nefarious.
So six days later... Nothing has changed. I get elected to call again, a call I had already been dreading. This time the call still lasted about a half hour, though I only talked to one person. Ultimately, this person was extremely helpful, but it was quite an enlightening call.
Did you know that even when someone from CenturyLink tells you something, then someone from DirecTV tells you they'll fix it, that ultimately you still only get what you are technically subscribed to? Okay, I can handle that, but why are we still not getting what we are paying for?
Okay, please select channel 290 on your receiver because that is Disney and everyone gets Disney. Um, no, it says not subscribed. Hmm... That's not right. Yeah, I know... Oh, I know what's wrong. Go here, then here, press this, then press that. Well that's what's wrong, your receiver is set to receive HD. You only get SD. I got a little pissed on the phone at this point. Are you telling me we are getting a free preview that we can't watch unless we pay for HD(which is another $10 per month, by the way)? No, it just means that we need to program your receiver to block the HD channel duplicates. Wonderful, I said. So someone installed it incorrectly? Yes, either the installer or the phone representative when they called in activation. She entered feedback into the system about said SNAFU...
So ultimately, we get a lot more channels that I was pretty sure we were supposed to be getting to begin with. And, I learned that if you complain enough about services you were supposed to be getting all along but were not available because of an error on their part, you get a prorated credit on your account that you can either use to pay for renting porn or applying to your bill. Thanks, we'll be applying this to our first bill.
